Meaning Making Machines

03-28-2013

Tao Te Ching Verse 4:

MANTRA: "The Tao is empty but inexhaustible.” ~ W.Dyer

            My wife once asked me why the floor was underneath me. I was confused by the question because the answer seemed so obvious. I replied, “Because it is on the ground.” She shook her head and asked again, “Why is the floor underneath you?” A bit incredulously I replied again, this time a bit louder, “Because I stand on it.” She shook her head and repeated the question. Again and again my responses missed the point of the question. “Because I can’t fly, The floor belongs on the bottom.” Finally I gave up in frustration and asked her to tell me the answer. She smiled wide and said, “The floor is underneath you because the floor is underneath you.”

            I did not get it at first, but eventually I realized the lesson is that I am the meaning making machine. I give meaning to the symbols, words, and sounds I perceive in my environment. These words I write are lines and squiggles that represent something meaningful in my mind and now in yours. We are free to make meaning of the events, words, thoughts and feelings in our lives, but how often do we realize that power? And maybe more importantly how often do we fail to grasp how culture influences what is real?

            Today on NPR I heard a story about US military drills in South Korea. Later in the day I saw the new Morgan Freeman movie about a hostile takeover by Korea of the White House. Clearly the lines between what is real and imagined are becoming harder to see. But lucky for us, we have the ability to question and decide for ourselves what it means and how it influences our opinions, choices and beliefs.

Tao Te Ching Verse 4:

"The Tao is like a well:

used but never used up.

It is like the eternal void:

filled with infinite possibilities.

It is hidden but always present.

I don't know who gave birth to it.

It is older than God."

The Happiness Highway

Tao Te Ching Verse 3

MANTRA: "I know there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.” ~ W. Dyer

            Today in Orange county traffic I had ample opportunity to test the idea that happiness resides within me and is not something that happens to me. Even though I study happiness I still wonder exactly what it is for me and for others. There is a mystery to it that science tries to solve through surveys and statistics, but maybe the most important thing we have learned thus far is the value of happiness and positive emotion to daily life.             

           According to the Tao I get the most bang for my attention buck when I focus on creating a detached positive emotional state. Putting myself in a joyful or peaceful state of mind requires that I let go of stressful deadlines, financial pressures, relationship difficulties, expectations for the future and boredom and accept myself where I am in the moment. These are the times I have to remind myself that I am a human being not a human doing. I believe it is important to practice being mindful so that I do not miss my life or my youth because I am rushing and racing through the next task and the latest goal. I have to practice not doing so that life doesn’t become an ongoing to-do list and ultimately a burden.                 

            My ace in the hole is always my breath, which allows me to shift awareness away from ambition, ego, fear, doubt and judgment and towards acceptance, happiness, joy, gratitude, hope and excitement. I believe myself and all beings are engineered to be happy and this encompasses both incredible excitement and sacred relaxation. I do not have to wait for the perfect job, or to be debt free, or a mother of two to be truly happy because true happiness is a choice I cultivate and nurture through mindfulness.  

             

Tao Te Ching Verse 3:

If you overesteem great men,

people become powerless.

If you overvalue possessions,

people begin to steal.

The Master leads

by emptying people's minds

and filling their cores,

by weakening their ambition

and toughening their resolve.

He helps people lose everything

they know, everything they desire,

and creates confusion

in those who think that they know.

Practice not-doing,

and everything will fall into place.

The Promise of Flow and the Paradox of Control

Tao te Ching Verse 2:
MANTRA: "When my work is done, it is forgotten. That is why it lasts forever."  ~ W.Dyer

            The notion of "forgetting my work" is hard to comprehend and seems at first counterintuitive. I am reminded of the parts of my life that I want and crave recognition, appreciation and acknowledgment. I want awards! I want rewards! I want feedback! With regards to the work I've done for my family, there is still a part of me waiting impatiently to be remembered. This verse suggests I stop keeping score in order to be appreciated, and I let go of my expectations in order to remain important. 

           Work requires focused attention and if you are lucky you will experience total absorption and the optimal experience of flow (being "in the zone"). Once the work is finished, the way of the Tao is to let the attention focus on something new because it is in the new thing, in some cases the opposite thing that our work is meaningful.

           Duality. Focus then forget. Sadness begets happiness. Lazy and motivated, despair and hope, bored and excited. Attention is our most precious and limited resource. So when I let go, forget, and release the outcome focus of my work, deed and action, I will have more attention for singing, for gardening, for learning, for connection, for love, for flow. When I think about work as performance, this mantra speaks to the part of me that tries so hard to be good or perfect or liked. But the performance, the song, the athletic achievement, the handstand, the speech, the presentation, the joke is best when it is not for something else, but is for the sake of doing it in and of itself. This is the paradox of control described by the flow state because to be in flow we have to feel both in control of the environment and exist without control of our self-consciousness. We simultaneously let go and focus to experience the bliss that comes from effortless hard work. 

Tao te Ching Verse 2:

"When people see some things as beautiful,

other things become ugly.

When people see some things as good,

other things become bad.

Being and non-being create each other.

Difficult and easy support each other.

Long and short define each other.

High and low depend on each other.

Before and after follow each other.

Therefore the Master

acts without doing anything

and teaches without saying anything.

Things arise and she lets them come;

things disappear and she lets them go.

She has but doesn't possess,

acts but doesn't expect.

When her work is done, she forgets it.

That is why it lasts forever."

Choose a Positive Attitude

This blog is like a broom, a vacuum and a Yankee candle for the mind. It is a tool to clean the cobwebs and clear the dust of beliefs that do not serve me. My intention is to share my journey into my study of the Tao because I believe transformation requires a dialogue. I invite your questions and comments and hope my 32 year old, female, married, gay, Positive Psychologist, Ph.D student lens offers an interesting window to human experience. 

I am writing because I desire peace in my mind and coherence in my heart and body. I desire control of my thoughts and feelings and actions. I seek a way to ride the elephant masterfully. I am seeking a deeper connection and alignment of my dreams, thoughts, feelings, actions, and beliefs.

I believe all that I seek resides within me and in dialogue with you. I commit and intend to a nightly routine of savoring one chapter of the Tao, memorizing the mantra and exploring the next day with it in my mind. This blog is my commitment manifested.

I thank Dr. Wayne Dyer for writing a translation of the Tao and translating it into understandable and relatable wisdom. (Note: The Tao verses are copied from http://academic.brooklyn.cuny.edu/core9/phalsall/texts/taote-v3.html#1).

Tao te Ching Verse 1:

MANTRA

"I CHOOSE to enjoy the great mystery of life. The Tao when named is not the Tao."      ~ W. Dyer

          The most profound part of this mantra for me is “I choose to enjoy”. I’ve been caught up in thoughts and beliefs that “the way” to happiness, to success and to feeling good in my body is to detox. I sometimes think of my choices as requiring punishment or penance. If I drink 3 glasses of wine and drink coffee and eat meat then I must suffer for it. If I don’t follow a routine, if I don’t study everyday for 3 hours, if I don’t write my thesis, if I don’t answer emails, if I watch too much TV then I am not good, smart, trying hard enough, working hard enough, I am not worthy and thus must suffer.

            But isn’t this the great mystery manifesting? Nothing is promised. A does not always lead to B, and I cannot control everything. But I can control my attitude. I can choose to enjoy? I can choose to enjoy. I can choose to enjoy! When you change the way you think about things, the things you think about change. I believe this. It is a lesson taught by both gurus like Tony Robbins and psychologists such as cognitive behavioral therapists.  

“The tao that can be told

is not the eternal Tao

The name that can be named

is not the eternal Name.

The unnamable is the eternally real.

Naming is the origin

of all particular things.

Free from desire, you realize the mystery.

Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.

Yet mystery and manifestations

arise from the same source.

This source is called darkness.

Darkness within darkness.

The gateway to all understanding.”